ton philos – The Friend

I have preached many times from John 21 about the interaction between Peter and Jesus as he is calling him again to service. Peter had denied Christ three times before his crucifixion. He felt like a failure and was perhaps considering forgetting it all and going back to fishing.

You probably know that Jesus asked Peter, Do you love me? He used the word agapao. (unconditional God-like love. Peter answered less confidently, but honestly, you know that I phileo (love) you. That word means “love” but it is more conditional, more “like” than “love”. We would say that’s a step below agapao.

Jesus asks again – agapao? Peter answers the same, phileo.

Then, the Third Time, Jesus changes his word to match Peter’s and says, “do you phileo me?” Peter answers, “you know everything, you know I phileo you”

Agape is a God kind of perfect love, we strive for it, but Phileo is a friendship.

All three times, Jesus then tells Peter, feed my sheep/lambs. God can use us where we are, but more than that he wants to…

Go back to the night before his crucifixion:

Jesus is walking after the Passover meal toward the Garden of Gethsemane to pray, and talking with The Twelve in John 15

• I am The Vine… you are the branches
• Abide in me… apart from me you can do nothing
• As the Father agapao (loved) me I have agapao you
• then… agapao one another
• v13 no greater agape than to lay down your life “ton philos” (the Friends)

Being one who has phileo for Christ is not coming short of expectations, but falling in line with his desires for us. The greatest love, agape, comes out of commitment to being ton philos – the Friend.

v14 you are my philos if you DO (poieo = to make / fashion) what I command

They have come a long way in their walk with Christ from hearing him, to following him, to believing him, to serving him, and now…

v15 I don’t call you servants anymore… I have called you friends (philos)

v16 you didn’t choose me, I chose you, and appointed you to produce lasting fruit

As I read these verses this morning I immediately thought of John 21… Jesus was telling Peter, “you won’t always get agape correctly, but I didn’t call you to be perfect, I called you to be MY FRIEND.”

He was saying, “Peter I knew you before I called you, before you answered, before success or failure, good days or bad. I chose you to be MY FRIEND. Do and Shape what I have said, and the agape will come along the way.

If there is a marker one day to say something about me, maybe just a tag on a bench at a golf course, I want it to be:

• the Friend of God – Ton Philos